


Three Times Three

by KnightDawn



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: F/M, contains kh3 speculation, originally written in 2013 but has been newly refurbished
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-15 17:21:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16067753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KnightDawn/pseuds/KnightDawn
Summary: Nothing hurts more than the sight of someone's back, turned to leave. Especially when you don't think they're coming back - but more so when you love them. Xion watched Riku's back three times - each time hurting worse than the last. Can he let her go a third time?RikuXi. A story told in partings.





	Three Times Three

The first time Xion watched him walk away, she was screaming in pain; frustrated, annoyed,  _angry_. So very angry. At him, and at herself. He'd called her Keyblade a sham, told her that it – that  _she_ was worthless.

And she couldn't even figure out how to prove him wrong.

She'd lost, after all. He'd won. And then he'd walked away without so much as a glance back.

That hurt more than any injury he'd given her.

 

***

 

The second time was almost an accident. He had found her,  _saved_ her, and she couldn't understand why. Why hadn't he just left her to the incoming tide? Why had he taken her up near the paopu tree? Why had he held her so  _gently_ , like he was afraid she would break?

He seemed so much nicer this time. But  _why_? Was it because she reminded him of Kairi? She heard the way he said her name.  _Kairi_. Hesitantly. Like he was afraid just saying her name would break something, too.

Was Xion  _jealous_  of Kairi? Of Kairi and Sora and everything they had that would never be hers? Before that thought finished, she was calling Riku out –

"Do you hate me, for taking your friend away from you?" The words tasted  _bitter_  on her tongue.

"Nah. I guess... I'm just sad." He was being hesitant again.

"... _Oh_." She was sorry, now. For being angry with him. He just wanted his friends back, and... she was just getting in the way.

But then his hand was on her shoulder and he was reassuring her in the only way he could – and before that really had time to register, he was walking away again, and she let him go even though it hurt.

"Thank you, Riku."

This time, the pain felt different.

 

***

 

And then, it was Riku's turn to watch her walk away for the first time. He'd known it would happen from the moment she'd sought him out for answers. She'd spent fourty-three days with him, on the run. (But who was counting?) He knew their time would run out eventually.

"Do you want to go back?"

She hadn't answered right away, but he knew she did. Because Roxas and Axel were her  _friends_  and they needed her. And she needed them, too.

So when she'd woken him up in the middle of the night (or, rather, pulled him away from the thoughts that had been running through his head while he tried to sleep) he'd promised to buy her a little more time.

It was all he could do.

But still, the next dawn, when she pulled her hood up and walked out, it hurt more than it should have.

He'd gotten used to having her around.

 

***

 

The second time was far worse. He'd gone back to where they'd met, the drawbridge outside Beast's Castle, knowing the time had come to say  _goodbye_. He wanted to go back and remember her while he still could.

She must've known he'd be there, somehow.

"Riku!"

Or maybe she was surprised after all. His heart fluttered in his chest as he tried to remember what he had wanted to ask her.

"...Did you find your answer?"

Yes, she had. But now she was asking him what to  _do_  and he found himself hesitating once again before he finally told her to go find Namine.

"Alright. Thanks, Riku. Goodbye..." Her voice was quiet and resolved, and he couldn't bring himself to say anything more to her as she turned around and walked away, disappearing into a Dark Corridor.

It hurt too much.

He told himself it was because he knew she was walking toward her own demise, and _thanking_ him for helping her when all he'd really done was help set it up. Nevermind that he'd tried to make it as painless as possible for her.

It still  _hurt_.

And he knew  _exactly_  why, even if he didn't want to admit it.

 

***

 

Despite everything, they did meet again.

She was sitting on the paopu tree to watch the sun rise from  _Sora's_  spot when he came. He ran up to the paopu tree in the dream in Sora's heart, thinking it was his best friend sitting at his usual place – she didn't have to look at him to know the look of surprise that surely crossed his face, making his brow wrinkle.

She could hear it in his voice.

"Who... who  _are_  you?"

She knew to give him an answer to that would be pointless. Instead, she did as she was supposed to and asked him a question for his test.

"Riku... what do you wish?"

"More questions..." He could've been annoyed with her, but there was a smile in his voice for  _some reason_. Xion didn't want to think about that. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him move closer and lean up against the tree – his own eyes closed, maybe even for the same reason she refused to look at him.

Because he'd forgotten, and that  _hurt._

"I wish to recover something important that I've lost."

Even his answer hurt, as she watched him fade out of the dream. What he wanted to recover was  _Sora_ , not her. And yet, something in her heart pleaded for him to want to find her, too.

Watching him leave her for the third time was the hardest yet. She knew it would be the last time... and he didn't even  _know_  her.

Her heart ached, and this time she could admit to herself  _why._

It was because she loved him, and loving him hurt.

 

***

 

"Why are you leaving?"

It was nearly a year later, and Xion had come back.

She'd been reunited with Riku, and despite all the tension and pain between them, things had worked out. They'd been seeing each other for months now – still in secret, with hushed whispers and cautious kisses when no one was looking.

They had too many mutual enemies to reveal the depth of their relationship yet.

"I have to," she sighed, her back facing him. "Please understand. Some things... have to be done alone."

"But we're stronger together—"

"No. Riku –  _please_. I have to do this. Don't follow me."She'd started to walk away, and he'd moved forward to clasp her hand in his own only to have her try to shrug him off.

He held her firmly.

"Xion, you're the one who doesn't understand."

"Oh? What is it I don't understand, then?" There was anger in her voice. Each word cut sharply.

"...Last time I watched you walk away, you didn't plan to come back."

His hold tightened on her hand, but she was silent for a long while.

"I know," she breathed. "And I can't promise I will this time, either. But you still have to let me go, Riku."

"I can't... not a third time!" His voice nearly broke, and his shout echoed back at him from the walls of Yen Sid's tower. He went deathly quiet then, sorry that he'd raised his voice. Her hand slipped from his, and she pulled away.

"Then consider us even. I watched you go three times – and the third time _killed_ me. Because I knew  _you_ weren't coming back."

"But I  _did_ —"

"Yeah, you did. Maybe I will, too. You'll just have to wait and see."

This time, when she walked away, he let her – no matter how much it hurt him to just stand there. The door shut behind her with a click. Only then did he go sit on the closest bench and rest his face in his hands.

When Sora and Kairi approached him later, asking him  _why_ he'd let her just leave, he just looked into Sora's eyes and told him the truth.

Because he loved her, and sometimes loving someone was about knowing when to let them go... and trusting them to come back.

No matter much letting go _hurt._

**Author's Note:**

> I've this idea for a while now - knowing a plot point that happens in my (forever wip) story set after Dream Drop Distance, I was thinking about what Riku would say to her when she tried to go. At first, I was going to have him stop her, and have her fight him in order to leave - the argument they have is a small part of what was going to happen.
> 
> But when I realized Xion canonically watched Riku turn his back on her and walk away three times, and Riku let her leave him twice.
> 
> The final scene you see in this finally came to me. Because he'd have to let her go again. He loves her enough to trust that she will come back again, even though he doesn't want to let her go. Funny how they always seem to parallel one another, isn't it?
> 
> Hope you like it! It's always nice to get a review to let me know how I'm doing, but I'm just happy to know people read my stories.
> 
> (Author's note has been adjusted slightly from the original upload on ff.net - this story is five years old, guys, but I still really like it? I figured it was worth uploading here. Thanks for reading!)


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